Many ambitious women tend to be in that great conflict of doing versus being all the time. The question that my clients often ask me is, How do you be? Many of them are like, Just show me what to DO so that I can BE, and then I’ll DO it so I can BE!
Yeah, it may sound a bit ridiculous when you put it this way, but I understand this frustration soo much!
Because I used to be there all the time – constant push, go, and do that leads to a lot of burnout, overwhelm, feeling like not being enough, and all those things that make us feel disempowered as women.
So, today, I’m going to talk more about how it’s not possible to do your way into being and what that actually means. I’ll try to answer how you let go of the very temptation of doing and get into being.
Tune in for this episode as I’m sharing tips to show you how to move out of doing and more into being and leading with the being.
Let’s dive in!
Natural Receivers
Here’s the thing we’ve mentioned several times – the feminine is the being energy, masculine is the doing energy. And we are usually really dialed in the masculine because we have been taught that way for centuries. (Check out episodes #52, #59, #69.)
Feminine energy is also receiving energy, and it means that women are natural receivers, not givers. (Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean we never give or we’re selfish or resentful. It means that we are built (and meant) to be more in receiving than in giving.)
There is a great saying, Fill your cup and then serve from the overflow. Have you ever heard it? (There is also the version, You need to serve from the saucer and not the cup.) It tells us that we need to give/serve from the overflow instead of giving from what’s actually for us (the cup).
However, we’re usually taught to fill our cups to serve others. But then we’re filling the cup and draining it. In real life, it manifests as doing it all for everybody except for us, which makes us feel really burned out.
So, what does it look like to serve from the overflow? Let’s take the example of my recent amazing experience. A few weeks ago, I was wide awake between 3-4 am almost every morning, and I don’t know why.
In those moments, part of me was like, Well, I could get into my office and do some work. But then again, I thought, No, I don’t start my day jumping into masculine energy. So, I was reading something that I really wanted or doing meditations or anything I love.
After spending hours that way, I’d fill myself up so much that I was bursting to share it with somebody else. The energy and ideas were literally pouring out of me! So, every morning I couldn’t wait to talk to my team about what I experienced and learned.
Being Present in the Moment
This may seem too simple, but that is how we get into the being. And then we naturally move into the doing. To experience means to receive. After we receive, we can move into the sharing and the giving. In this way, it’s very natural for women to be able to give.
So, how do we receive?
When you’re being, you’re savoring the moment. Think of the moments when you’ve lost yourself in a really great meal, a fabulous cookie, a wonderful drink, or a stimulating conversation, a really pleasant shower – when you’re savoring it, you are in being energy.
Here we’re talking about being present in the moment.
You’ve probably experienced that – those are the moments when you’re having a great conversation with someone, and it’s you and them. You kind of tuned out the whole surroundings. That’s being present in the moment.
(The opposite is when you’re present in body but not in spirit for a lot of conversations. You’ve experienced that for sure with your spouse, kids, or other people when your brain has checked out.)
How You Desire to Feel
Another way to describe getting into being is connecting to how you desire to feel. What do you want to feel?
There’s a saying, Be the change you wish to see in the world. But you can’t be that change if you don’t know what that feels like. How do I be the change? What does ‘Be the change’ even mean? What do I need to do to be the change?
Well, first, decide what that change is and what’s the feeling you want to convey. As women, we can’t just put more and more work, pushing, and masculine energy out in the world and expect anything to change. We have to be different to get different results.
So, let’s just be general here – we want more peace and love. If that’s what you want in the world, you must receive it first. You can’t give from an empty cup. Then, if you wish to see more peace and love in your family or just in your own mind, start experiencing/receiving it first.
As you see, feminine goes first. Remember, we lead with the feminine, and the masculine is divinely designed to support the feminine. So we lead with our desires. In this case, it’s how we desire to feel – we want to feel peace and love.
Now, how is the masculine going to support me? Well, if I want to connect to peace, then I’ve got to get my mind into a state of calm. The doing part of that is to connect to my body, my breath, or things that made me feel peaceful in the past.
Look For Supporting Things Around You
I also connect to those things around me that help me feel supported. Because if we’re not feeling peaceful, it often happens because we feel abandoned, all alone, and as if in a hostile environment without a clue how to get out of.
Since the beginning of my journey to prosperity, I’ve been practicing this inner game that always works – I would look at different things that help me feel supported. Although they are really dumb things, they help me get into the calm and the being.
Here are some of the dumbest things I focus on:
- a water bottle next to me
- I’m in a temperature-controlled room
- I’ve got a chair that is not collapsed underneath me
In this way, I would literally talk myself through any anxiety or worry. And not only is this a simple technique, but it also takes just a couple of minutes – and it is enough to shift my focus and be present in the moment.
You can do it yourself. Find one, two, or three states of being that you want to connect to regularly throughout your day. Get aware of the instrument in God’s hands you desire to be. And play simple and easy little games that will help you be a powerful tool in God’s hands.
After some time, you’ll start naturally receiving more and more of your desired state of being and start serving and giving from the overflow. Isn’t this exciting and beautiful in its simplicity and power?!
This is what starts the redesign of your reality.
If you need some help with this, or if you want to learn more about leading with being energy, come and join our Redesign Your Reality online workshop. We’ll be unpacking the divine feminine and tapping into feminine energy.
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