I’ve always been a pretty darn good overcomer. I’ve overcome many things in my life with a lot of bracing, preparing, and let’s-tackle-this mood. (To tell you the truth, I was the one who put most of those obstacles in my own path).
But then I started exploring masculine and feminine energy (and have been fascinated with that topic, particularly in one period) and realized that I was in the masculine energy most of the time. That was one of the reasons why I made those challenges much harder than they actually needed to be.
Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with overcoming – we need it in the same way we need masculine energy. However, I obviously needed to balance my masculine and feminine energy and learn to lead out with empowered feminine.
So the question was: Is there a way to make the journey through obstacles easier, more pleasant, and joyful?
Yes, of course!
And I found out how.
Let me put it this way – the secret is in the “art of becoming.”
Tune in today as I’m going to dive into the difference between overcoming and becoming and when is the best time to use each one to create the reality we desire on our own terms.
Let’s jump in!
Challenge Accepted!
There’s a lot of overcoming in this time of the history of the world. We have a lot of challenges going on everywhere – globally and personally, in our communities and families, in our own personal growth and journeys.
So I’ve been mulling over the best way to overcome challenges or obstacles. I think we were all raised to have this idea of enduring, conquering, and overcoming, and to involve a lot of bracing in all segments of our lives.
That is actually the masculine way. (We already talked about how masculine and feminine energy presents themselves and how we behave in each of them – check out this episode). The feminine way would be becoming, as it’s the other side of the same coin.
As we said in some earlier episodes, we all have masculine and feminine sides, and both of them have their place in our lives. It means that one is not better than the other. However, there are definite times to use one over the other.
The idea of overcoming is encapsulated in the “Let’s tackle this thing!” vibe. In a more empowered way, it sounds like:
- “Challenge accepted!”
- “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”
- “Face this head-on!”
- “Just take care of this!”
- “Get the obstacle moved out of the way!”
That’s masculine energy with its place in our lives and a lot of value. But, being in the constant state of overcoming is not the best thing for us as women. We need to make some space for becoming as well.
The Art of Becoming
Both overcoming and becoming are incredible character builders. There will be situations when we will be required to overcome challenges and obstacles.
That’s part of why we’re here – to experience contrast and the freedom of choice. We’re also here to experience the rewards for obeying laws and the penalties for disobeying them. (Of course, I’m talking about Universal Laws of Prosperity and Creation.)
Sometimes we’ll face issues that will just knock us over. Those are various things that come out of the blue, other people’s decisions that negatively affect us, or our own decisions that act as obstacles.
You see, those experiences require us to be in this state of overcoming. So I’m not against it – on the contrary. But then again, it’s sometimes so darn exhausting, isn’t it?! That’s why I started swaying to becoming.
It’s the very idea of growth – to be more interested in becoming a higher-level self and overcoming things in ways that are filled with ease, pleasure, and delight. We’re in a universe of expansion – we’re here to increase.
Actually, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of becoming because that’s what expansion is. It’s the art of becoming! I really believe that if you are focused more on leading out with becoming, the overcoming takes care of itself with greater finesse than just “tackling the problem head-on.”
Only Good Can Come of This
As I have been more focused on the becoming part, I realized that my thinking shifts from the “Challenge accepted!” into setting the ground rules that “Only good can come of this.”
No matter if the issues are enormously painful, heartbreaking, or if they seem much bigger than me, I use the Universal Law of utilization. And it says that everything happens for a reason. And that reason is to get me to what I want!
I go on claiming that the issue is here because I’m ready for it, and I can handle it. (To take out the drama of the terms “challenge” or “problem”, I like to call it “issue”.)
That’s the beginning of the process of becoming the woman who handles life’s surprises and life sucker punches with grace and finesse, humor and flow, and with an expectation of a really great outcome. And that is absolutely possible when you’re focused on the becoming.
Now, when I have hard things come up, my initial thoughts are:
- “This is here to help me.”
- “Only good can come of this.”
- “I am a level 10 woman with a level three issue.”
This means that the particular obstacle is not so huge that I’m dwarfed by it or that I have no idea how to overcome it. No way! It is here because it will assist me and get me to the next level – to what I want.
This issue/contrast/obstacle is there to actually get you to where you want to go – to all those desires that seem so big that you feel embarrassed to share them with others.
How Must I Feel Through This?
In the next part of the process, I ask myself who I must be in order for this experience not to be an issue. In fact, several questions that can help us:
- What would that next-level version of me think about this?
- What would “her” behavior be like?
- How would “she” handle this?
- What would “she” feel throughout this experience?
- What would “she” demand she feels throughout this experience?
I call that setting the terms of navigating through an issue as smoothly as possible? Instead of setting the terms of overcoming (how long something will last, defining all the players, how everything should fall into place), we ask, How must I feel through this?
Must I feel peace? Humor? Support? What do I require to navigate through this with grace, ease, and joy? Whatever the terms are, God and the Universe are very happy to meet them because we’re not trying to micromanage any part of the how.
That puts us into flexibility and flow, allowing the unfolding without us getting in there and interrupting the process because we believe it should look differently. In that way, we start leading out with being instead of doing, which is a feminine trait.
If we take a weight issue example, the masculine way would be, “I’m going to hit the gym at 6 am every morning, limit my calorie intake, and cut out sugars”. That’s an outer game strategy to overcome the issue.
But if we want to sway to the feminine, we would ask ourselves, Who do I want to be throughout this process? What’s the experience I insist on having while overcoming self-sabotage through food?
Esoteric Yet Simple
Once we start leading out with this being part, the doing becomes much easier because it plays the supporting role. Then we also get other players and other opportunities that move in.
In this weight-loss example, it would be a specialized program, a personal trainer, or some other opportunity that would click into place and help us with the outer strategy, but also with the things the next-level version of us insists upon experiencing.
Probably most of us are more comfortable with the doing than with the being because that’s what we were taught, but also because the being is kind of esoteric. I hope this episode has helped you realize that the being is actually quite simple.
It also allows us to create the reality we desire on our terms, with the experience we want along the way, which brings joy to the journey, more light to the world, and the physical results we dream of.
If you need some help with this, or if you want to play in the energy of the becoming, come play with us. We are starting our next online workshop called the Prosperity Experience: Success Without Struggle.
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