Have you ever felt like you wanted to run to a goal, but you only ended up falling apart in the process? Many people ask me what they do wrong so they can just get to where they want to be. But they want it without the “falling apart” side of the journey. Is growth ever possible without the tears and pain?
Let’s talk about how we can win the inner game by facing obstacles more effectively. Everyone has experienced feeling low, and everyone wants the same thing out of it – to get past it and win! But too many times, we fail to face it with a better mindset, and we unconsciously allow ourselves to lose. The enormous efforts tend to pay out marginal success, and this strategy will change all of that.
There’s a Need for an Uplevel
Ever wondered why your problems seem much heavier than other people’s? If you look at it differently, you should actually feel flattered by it. I know that might sound unbelievable, but problems are ways to uplevel yourself! As the saying goes, only the test of fire makes fine steel.
So when you come across many problems, it means it’s an upgrade in the process. The bigger the problem, the better your next version looks like. If we embrace this mindset about issues, we will look forward to overcoming them all the time.
A Call for Hypergrowth
Another way to overcome problems more effectively is by responding to the call for hypergrowth. Try to reflect on everything that makes you who you are right now. After that, I need you to imagine what you would be if you were already a thousand steps forward from where you are now?
Hypergrowth is a call for you to shift your identity to get to the next level. Whether that means the next level of income, impact, or mindset, it generally means the next level of you! Ponder on this: What does that next level of me do? What does she read? What does she eat? What habits did she improve or eradicate?
Falling Apart is Okay
Falling apart is not just what it seems! When things fall apart, they are actually falling into place. Take this as an example: When you pray for patience, you are not given children who sleep soundly at night and obey everything you say. They can get really cranky and needy at the most inconvenient time! But that is exactly how you exercise that patience muscle.
The challenges are the process that you need to go through to get what you pray for. This is why falling apart is critical because it breaks down a few things but rebuilds something that comes out as the better version of you.
Resistance Can Get In The Way
What you resist, persists. Like in any obstacle in life, we tend to make sure the boulder is pushed away to move forward. This may sound manageable when the boulders are smaller and less frequent. But we can’t deny that sometimes life can be overwhelming and the boulders look bigger than you could normally take.
The power of non-resistance is truly life-changing. A little stream of water starts high up in the mountain and is on a long journey to find the ocean and become a part of it. It trickles its way down and finds twigs, branches, and rocks. When a huge boulder is in front of it, it does not gather its forces and push it away. It goes around it!
Like water, we have to be non-resistant to so many things that come our way. We need to stop exerting all our efforts to push the boulder aside. Don’t make yourself available to any overwhelm.
A Useful Mantra For Every Day
I need you to write this and remember it by heart: “Only good can come of this.”
It’s a mantra you can say over and over to yourself, especially when things are shaky. I remember feeling overwhelmed once and saying this mantra was one thing but truly believing it was another. But all of a sudden, answers came in the form of friends, family, and even clients!
We never know where the good is in a situation until it appears in our face. And sometimes, it can take time for the answers to show up. But this mantra will tether you to the good that’s about to come, and the bad days will feel more bearable.
The Importance of Pain in the Process
I remember praying for a better relationship with my children. Long story short, the exact opposite happened. I needed to believe that it was only a tiny portion of the journey to that relationship I hoped for. Again, falling apart for things to fall into place.
The tears and the pain are necessary parts to take, but you don’t need to linger on that part for too long. The emotional shakedown we experienced was not pretty. Still, it was the key to having a more intimate and honest relationship with my family.
You can do the same for whatever you desire for – but acknowledge that although the bumps on the road are a part of it, you don’t have to drench yourself in despair too long. Go over it but make sure to go over it quickly. The length of pain is not necessary!
The End Is Actually a Beginning
I remember crying over a family problem that felt like the end. That’s precisely what I told my husband that time – “This just feels like the end.” He did not disagree with me, and he told me that it can be the end, but it can also be the beginning of something much better. He was absolutely right.
What the caterpillar calls the end, the butterfly calls the beginning. It’s going to be messy before a trace of finesse comes around. It’s going to be awkward before it turns elegant.
So you have to dive into the ugly days and embrace them. But set the terms on how you want to feel about the experience. You have to find the value of it all so you can look forward to the results. Still, does that mean you want to do it all over again? Not at all! Make it clear to yourself that although this bumpy ride is necessary, you only need one of it to uplevel.
I sincerely hope this has been helpful to you as it has always been for me. Make sure you stay in touch with the people you love and the people in our community, too! The journey is so much easier when we do it together.
Additional resources
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