We live in a society that glorifies victims and vilifies people that get out of victimhood. Have you noticed that? I’m not talking about all victims, but specifically about those with the story of, “Poor me, I’m helpless to change my situation.”
And when people rise above that and get really successful, most people resent the success of somebody else (instead of celebrating it) and try to “explain” it like: “You don’t understand. This is why I’m so so so special and why things work for you, but they don’t work for me.”
Although I can’t tolerate that, I can understand because I used to “reason” why I was not enough to follow my dreams listing dozens of excuses. But after this “been there done that” part, I have to tell you – that’s not true.
Once I got fed up with the thoughts that were keeping me staying the same, instead of getting resentful, I started allowing myself to be inspired by people who rose above the things that held them back and succeeded.
But I also had to accept one thing that helped me in my personal growth. Actually, no one can grow without that, which is exactly what I’m going to talk about today.
And since this is a special episode #100, I’m going to share a trick you can do to keep growing every day for the next 100 days.
So, tune in as I’m unpacking what’s the payoff to suffering and how to turn your discomfort into personal growth.
Let’s be different people by the end of this year!
Why Are People Stuck in Their Suffering?
Here’s a sad thing that I find fascinating – people get really wrapped up in their suffering. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why? (Yeap, sometimes I turn into Carrie Bradshaw – that’s my well-kept secret… well, apparently not so well.)
Anyway, I think to myself, why are people just stuck in their suffering so much? And I realized there is a big payoff to staying in the status quo. I had this moment of clarity about the payoff that comes when we believe that something is too hard and we’re not enough.
Although we all claim that we want to change it, why don’t we change it? I asked myself this question as well. If I want something to change and know how I need to skill up to change that, why am I not going after that skill and skilling up? What’s the payoff of me not doing something different?
And I found a pretty simple yet absolutely accurate answer – because I don’t want to get uncomfortable. That’s what the payoff is – I continue to feel safe. Safe and suffering, safe and miserable to a certain extent, but I’m safe because I don’t have to get uncomfortable.
Get Uncomfortable
But your dreams require you to get uncomfortable. Massively uncomfortable. Because your dreams require you to be a different person from who you currently are today. And it means you:
- think different thoughts
- have different beliefs
- have different behaviors
And all of that lead to different actions and, finally, different results. See, they all build on each other, but everything starts with your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
Here I’ll mention one of my mentors who would say, “Growth and comfort aren’t friends.” (I love this quote so much that I wrote it on a sticky note, and I have it right on my computer monitor to remind me – if I want to grow, it’s going to require me to get out of being comfortable.)
I mentioned at the beginning that I was in a victimhood narrative for years. Now I’m far enough removed from that situation. I stopped buying my suffering story so easily, and I really like the stories I tell myself about my ability to achieve.
I’ve raised up my own sense of awareness and committed to the decision that I am absolutely enough to do whatever I want to do and to create the life that I want to create. I don’t have all the skills that are required, but I am enough. And as I continue to choose into that decision, the opportunities to skill up come to me.
And whenever I start thinking that I don’t want to get uncomfortable, I remind myself what the payoff to staying where I am is. Since I’m really committed to my dream, I quickly got fed up with the thoughts that were keeping me staying the same.
100 Days of Growth
To be honest here, I still have those things I feel uncomfortable about. And I’m not talking about anything obviously uncomfortable, such as walking naked down the street, because it’s not something that would get me closer to my dream or help me grow.
I’m talking about the things I know would help me in my personal growth and my business but feel uncomfortable about. Thinking about how to get out of being stuck, I came up with a beautiful yet simple idea.
I need to do something that makes me feel uncomfortable but will help me to grow every day for the next 100 days. Why do I like this idea (and I think you will too)? Because it isn’t anything wildly uncomfortable.
But it has to be something that I wish that I could do and feel really confident about, but I don’t. So I’ve made a list of those things and started doing them one at a time. I’ve been just a couple of weeks into this, and believe me or not, I felt a difference in my confidence level after 3-4 days.
I won’t talk here about examples of everything I have done and what results I get (that’s something you can find out if you tune in for the full episode ). But I’m glad that I’m doing an experiment that works and that I can recommend it to you.
Challenge
So, I named this challenge “100 Days of Growth,” and I’m inviting you to do at least one thing a day that makes you feel uncomfortable. And email me your stories of what you did at: clientcare@allysonchavez.com .
If you want to add to the book that I’m going to write, then include your first and last name, and I’ll make sure that you get credit. And if you really want to go crazy, you can even include a picture or video of yourself.
It’s gonna be fun, I promise!
Email me your stories of what you did that made you feel uncomfortable at: clientcare@allysonchavez.com
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