Does This Outfit Make Me Look Fat?

Yes, I’ll admit it. I’ve put on about 15 pounds in the last 3 years. If you’re 6 feet tall, that’s not a big deal.
When you’re 5’2” with very little torso, it’s a little more noticeable.

Over the weekend I did my first ever livestream with some friends and colleagues of mine. (You can click
http://lovemasteryretreat.com/allysonchavez to catch the replay for a limited time.) Nikki Incandela is a size .5 on her “fat” day and has a fabulous sense of style and fashion, and Cyndi Olin has long, gorgeous blonde hair, dimples and an air of sophistication that can be intimidating. Me? I’ve had 4 children and still can’t remember if it’s okay to wear black shoes with a brown skirt. ‘Nuf said.

As I was flying to San Diego for this livestream, I realized that how I showed up was entirely up to me. I could shrink in the background against these two gorgeous women, feeling like the chubby 8th grader trying to get into the popular group, or I could own my body and its own beauty, declare that my gifts are enough, and shine in my way, in my own right! No one would give me permission; that is my job.

The voice inside my head will always give me a reason why I shouldn’t shine my gifts full out. When I was a teenager and 103 pounds it was that I had too many zits. These days it tells me that I don’t really make much of a difference and maybe I need another tool to make transformation even faster for others.

So, how do you become that person that you know you’re here to be? You start by putting the steps to transformation in the right order.

1. Declare
2. Act
3. Become

That voice in your head (supported by society and its rules) tells you that you have to BE it before you can really DO it. Malarky!! You must first declare that you already are it, regardless of whether you feel it, are ready for it, or deserving of it. (And by the way, you’ll feel like a big, fat liar when you first start declaring it.)

Next, you begin to ACT AS IF you are what you declare. If you’re fit and healthy, how does a fit and healthy person act? What does she do? Does she stay up too late, miss workouts and eat ice cream at 11 pm (all of which I did last week, by the way). No! She does what a healthy, fit person would do.

Then, as you continually recommit by declaring and acting, even despite setbacks (see my confession in the above paragraph), you will eventually become it. It will be your new normal. You won’t declare it anymore, because you have arrived there. That, my friends, is the journey to transformation. And it starts exactly where you today.

Even if you’re 30 pounds overweight and top heavy.

Even if you have no idea how to become what you want to be.

Even if you’re a people pleaser and don’t want to offend or make anyone uncomfortable.

That’s why I’m here. I’ll take this journey with you, and we’ll do it together. (Which is a heckuva lot more fun—not to mention effective– than doing it all alone!)