Very Few People Know This About Me

I have a 15 year old son who is doing his best to distance himself from the family. He shuts himself up in his room, sleeps a bunch, only wants to play video games and hang out with his friends.

I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “And? Show me a 15 year old boy is isn’t trying to distance himself from him family! What’s so spectacular about that?”

I could feel that it was more than that. There was a disconnect going on. Anytime I’d try to talk to him I’d be answered in grunts or short, one word sentences, no matter how open-ended my questions were! Intuitively I could feel there were deep disconnects going on. Not just with us, but with God, his health, anything real.

So, guess what I did to combat it. 

I climbed into his fantasy world with him! Every week our family plays Dungeons and Dragons, because (in a moment of weakness probably) my son asked if I’d play with him. And I said yes.

I don’t like role-playing games.
I don’t like video games.
I definitely don’t like strategy games (I’d rather go to the dentist than play Settlers of Catan ever again. Seriously. If I had a choice I’d totally choose the dentist.)

This game takes a minimum of 2 hours for us to play, and it’s an ongoing game. You don’t just play it once, win or lose and that’s the end.

Oh no. That would be far too easy.

This has a story line. You can actually role play and totally get into your character!

You have hit points and spells and dailies and 20-sided dice to role.  I didn’t even KNOW there anything larger than a 6 sided die! This is an intricate, complicated game. I STILL don’t know what “roll for initiative” means, but I do it every time we begin playing. (Maybe it’s something to do with who goes first…)

I’m playing a cleric, which is a type of healer. I’ll bet that doesn’t surprise you. I named her Florence, after Florence Nightingale. But we call her Flow, because I’m all about Ease & Flow this year!

None of our family really has any idea how to play D&D. (Look, I’m actually learning the lingo now!) So we don’t really role play much yet. But we get yummy gaming treats each week, and that certainly helps. Also, we watched this totally B movie (maybe it’s even considered a C movie) called “Dorkness Rising” so I could put this whole thing into some context.

And it was freaking hilarious! (There’s a comment one of the characters makes about Mormons that was so funny. And I’m even Mormon!)

We’ve been doing this since just after Christmas. And I’ve noticed that, for a couple hours a week, my son will speak in more than one word grunts to the family.

This style of game requires that you work together as a team, which was important to get him to engage with us. (I wasn’t about to do hours of “family video gaming” every week. He already spends WAY too much time in front of a screen.) And this is working! He laughs and he looks at you when he talks, and we all have such a great time! And we eat yummy treats. Did I mention the part about gaming treats?

SUCH a lifesaver! 

So, I’ve become one of “those” people. I’m a total Dungeons and Dragons playing nerd, and it’s completely worth it! Game by game, we’re bonding more as a family.

And I have this wonderful hope we just might reclaim our son in the process. (At least that’s MY endgame.)

What things have you done to reconnect with a loved one, that maybe you didn’t want to do initially but it ended up being awesome? Is it as drastic as D&D? 🙂  Comment below.