Total transparency time.
Most days I wake up at 4 am with a knot of anxiety in my solar plexus chakra (the spot about 2” above your belly button). The solar plexus chakra is your “core” center. It’s where you hold your self-respect, self-esteem, and personal honor. And mine is attacked almost daily. I clear it using SimplyHealed, I talk to my inner child who is scared, I use tapping to release it, I feel it and send it love and give it permission to be there if it needs to be. And every day it still wakes me up.
I’m in a small, private mastermind group that meets once a week at 5:30 AM (I KNOW! That’s what I thought at first, too!) One of my mastermind ‘sisters’ asked me this week, “Who are you comparing yourself to? I don’t understand why you’re not valuing yourself. You’re brilliant!”
I thought about that for a while, and discovered that there’s really no one I’m comparing myself to. What I AM comparing myself to is WAY more insidious than a person:
I’m comparing myself to the impossible standard of ENOUGH.
- Am I giving my 15 year old son ENOUGH love and space to grow through a current faith crisis he’s in?
- Am I giving my clients ENOUGH practical application, techniques, love and attention so they feel supported and can be successful?
- Am I ENOUGH for my clients to be successful?
- Am I ENOUGH for my family and children to be successful?
- Am I ENOUGH to be successful?
- Am I ENOUGH….(insert whatever comes to your mind here)
As an energy practitioner, I know the value of having regular energy work done, so I scheduled an appointment with a fabulous intuitive and saw her last week. What we discovered in that session was that I had a deep, deep core belief that I wasn’t enough, and I have to overcompensate to try to make up for it!
Now, most people have a core belief that they’re not enough. I already knew I had this belief and had done a lot of inner work already to pull out that weed. But what I discovered was that I don’t need more pulling; I need more healing.
Not a ton. Like I said, I’ve done a lot of work around this the last few years. It used to wake me up at 3am and stay with me all day long, choking me, paralyzing me, making it extraordinarily hard for me to start a business. Now it’s just a small knot that is easily dealt with in the beginning of every day.
But I want that knot gone. And I’m committed to healing it. Whatever it takes.
If I have to cry and sob and snot all over the place to heal it, I’ll do it.
If I have to spend time in the discomfort with the belief that I’m just not enough to heal it, I’ll do it.
If I have to give it back to God to heal every day for the next however long it takes to heal it, I’ll do it.
If I have to run naked through the streets…okay, I WON’T do that! (and thankfully, healing a core belief will never require you to do something that isn’t aligned with your integrity.)
I’ve learned that it is possible to reach a point where enough is, well, enough. When it’s time to go to the next level because you just can’t stand to be stagnant any longer.
When you’re at that point, you’re poised to create miracles, because you’re finally willing to make your miracles real, whatever it takes. You’re finally willing to heal, no matter the cost. Because, let’s face it, your current reality is costing quite a bit to maintain right now.
Can you relate?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes? We rarely feel ready. So, are you willing? Are you willing to step through the door you don’t want to, knowing that your freedom and your miracle is on the other side of it?
Because it is, you know.
We can leap into that healing, that miracle, together. There’s no reason for you to do it alone. Drop me a line at allyson@allysonchavez.com. I’d love to hear your story.