If you know me well, you know how I love to sing. I’ve been a soloist since I was 14, singing for audiences in the thousands, hundreds, and small family gatherings. If you’ve ever tried to sing a solo, you know how scary it is! I literally cannot watch the try-outs of American Idol because I get so nervous for the contestants and work myself into anxiety. There’s a degree of vulnerability associated with singing, and it’s really hard to expose that for all the world to criticize.
But it’s necessary if you want to succeed. (Not singing, but being vulnerable.) I went to a conference where we were told to share something with your table mates that made you feel vulnerable. The things that other people shared that made them feel vulnerable wasn’t a big deal to me. And the thing I shared with them wasn’t a big deal to them either. And it bonded us really quickly! The point of the exercise was to remind us that being vulnerable was an important component of being intimate with our business and our mission, and nobody judged what made us feel vulnerable except ourselves.
The first time I sung a solo was in 9th grade in front of my peers. I was so nervous I was convinced I was either going to throw up or pass out before the performance. I was shocked when I got a standing ovation after I finished! I don’t get more than mild butterflies anymore, mostly because of all the practice I’ve had, but also because I realized something really important: people don’t want you to fail. We really do cheer each other on, whether we know each other or not. And we’re much, much harder on ourselves than we would ever consider being with someone else.
You will be amazed at how powerful it is to be vulnerable. It will open you up to a level of intimacy –which has nothing to do with sex–that will astound you. It will help others connect with you, it will increase that level of trust and it will show you that yes, indeed, you can certainly do this! And no one will notice the tremor in your voice or the hear the pounding of your heart. And if they do, they won’t care. I promise!
What has your experience with being vulnerable taught you? Do you agree with me or not? Comment below if you feel so inclined.
Awesome post. Thank you for sharing your experience Allyson.
So awesome that you are comfortable on stage in front of people doing something many feel scared to do. Good for you.
Thank you for sharing your story Allyson! I believe that once you’re on that stage, people really want to see you succeed and do your best. They are rooting for you!! I always keep that in mind when I need to speak for large groups. Great blog post!